Learn to Live With Yourself

A long time ago I learned a lesson that changed how I lived and do things. I learned to live myself . I learned it the hard way which is usual for me  but, I still learned. We all have that need to have someone to love and be there when we need someone to lean on. Many people fail to understand that we must do this for ourselves first.

I could use the cliche saying, I've been through a lot in my life but, that part is obvious , that's life. I struggle with depression for a while , having total hate for myself. Yeah I tried three times to get out of here , each time showing progress but ultimately failing. I don't regret these times because they only made me that much more aware and mentally stronger.

After the third time it was like something switched on with in me . I had to try harder, and achieve every goal. I had to accept the kind of person I wanted to be and not who I was at the time (obviously who I was and the character I was forming wasn't working). I had to stop being ignorant to how I was thinking and the things I was doing and acknowledge that a change had to happen. This had to start with me.

Nothing and no one truly fits into our life until we learn to live with ourselves. I'm talking about getting yourself to a better place mentally ( Physically too but this starts in your mind), and eventually love yourself for who you have become. Then you learn to change the things you can change and accept the things you cannot. You learn to not worry about what may come and take care of the things that are NOW. You become an active member of your own life and anything or anyone that impedes that effort needs to be limited or completely cut off. For me it was people, places, habits, etc. You get a better sense of priority and the surprises that life bring are much easier to handle.

We have become stronger and stand on our own . We need not the validation that we are making  the right choices , because we have taken the steps to do it on our own. we can lean on ourselves in times we are down. no more messes means no more clean up.

I'm writing this post because of recent insight from a study I have been doing for the past 7.5 years. ( please know that this is just an example, not me taking shots on my ex wife ) This study is based on my ex wife. You can say she revived my Learn to live with myself process when her own pattern got in the mix and she cheated on me and decided she wanted someone else. We have a daughter together so, for that reason I have access to many things in her life. I have watched her bring many men into her life and create mess after mess. None of these messes ever get fully cleaned up. Unfortunately my daughter had to experience this too. Her pattern has cause real visual effects for her. She stays with someone two years when there is no child with that individual. When she has a child with them, she decides to quit when the child is around 1.5 years old and wastes no time getting into another relationship.

This horrible process that she continues to follow has left her in a place that is the exact opposite of living with herself. She is not happy with how she is physically, constantly searching for the approval and validation of others. When you no longer have what she wants she gets rid of you, this includes friends and family. she is easily shaken by the daily surprises of life. These things have led her to mold her character into something hideous. She is very vain, selfish, narcissistic, and ignorant to what is actually happening, all of these things include my daughter . All of these things hold her in a pattern of an unhealthy life that will produce the same results every time. There are many burned bridges in her life . The does not only affect my daughter but, all those left in her mother wake.

This is no way to live . There is no true happiness there. No true love, it cannot survive because like a house with a weak foundation there is nothing to support it.  We must all strive to live with ourselves, even if we choose to be strong on our own for the entirety of of lives.