The best thing in life !

The best thing in life has got to be being a dad , or even a father figure . We grow up expect certain things to happen and most of those things are explain to us . We go from experience to experience learning and growing within . 

The single most important and fulfilling part of my life is being a father . No matter my past present or future there are these little beings that need me and look up to me . Without preconceived  ideas of who I am and what I’ve done they love me and I love them . 

The best part is they give us as parents and advanced level of growth that you can’t get without them . They teach you selflessness and what real needs are . Instead of the single life where your career driven and focus souly on your goals and leave this life with nothing but a material legacy , kids are a living legacy one that should be taken seriously .

 My goal as a father is to give them the tools to have a more fruitful and successful life than I and to be better people . To teach them things that produce a character within them that could change the world . I love my kids , even the ones I didnt bring into this world . I feel that they have an impact on my life and hopefully there is something I could teach them or just provide a shoulder to lean on when they need it . So with all my heart I love you , Lily , Asher , Sophia and Zoe .

Does anyone else notice something’s off?

Here in 2017 we have reached a point in civilization where we are didvided by more that just race . We are divided by groups of people with similar ideals . When they have a difference those people split off and form another group. The ignorance keeps going and going like a pyramid scheme. 

As if this wasn’t bad enough we have sexual misconduct allegations . Some of this countries most influential men have been accused of really shitty things. I understand that some of the claims have been proven or confessed to but ....... does anyone else notice that something is wrong ???? 

There is not one woman on that list . Women are just as bad as men yet, there isn’t a single woman being called out !! I see this as a problem. One , you have claims that have reached there expiration date long before now . Two , the fields that these men come from are all from influential industries. 

Who’s pulling the strings ? I feel like there is more to these allegations than just righting a wrong . I’m all for people seeking justice and getting it but, something seems off . Don’t get me wrong . I’m all for gender equality but, you have to do the work , and put in the time . Also, keeping up with the demands you have to be consistent . I heard and ad on the radio talking about selective service and how it’s every young mans duty to sign up ! HELLO ITS 2017  WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE GENDER EQUALITY IN THAT !!! I feel the same thing kind of applies with the allegations ! The media is making it seem that only powerful males can commit such horrible acts . Yet no one that I’ve heard or seen in the field of media, has questioned why only men are being called out ! I don’t want there to be more drama and I do NOT hate women but, why do we make women feel safe to come forward but , keep the male standard of your not a man if you talk ?  

I think that the men out there that have faced the same things as these women in these fields need to come forward and speak up . 

In no way shape or form and I saying that the women coming forward are all wrong . I think there should be an expiration date on claims . I’m also not saying that they are lying . The truth will come out and I hope they get the appropriate justice . I’m simply saying that it can not be men only , that’s impossible . Also, people need to watch careful and weed out the fact from bullshit because the accusation alone can ruin someone’s life ,Even if proven to be inocent . 

Oh and if we are gunna hold these men accountable for what they allegedly did then maybe we should be consistent and hold the president accountable to his admitted actions !

I Don't Know How To Handle It!!

The greatest feeling in the world has to be when your children are born . There's nothing on this planet that has the same effect . Luckily for me I have experienced this feeling twice . I am so very thankful for the opportunity to be a father ! 

Now I have another feeling that I have never felt before that holds the same weight and gravity . Age of a loved one . For a lot of my youth I felt that I didn't belong in this world . I felt that my life had no purpose and my death would benefit all the people I know . I hated who I was , not me as a person but me as a whole . There was never any real reason for this other than a strong urge that my life was never meant to be . So yeah, like others I tried three times . Obviously I failed , in writing this now . How does this have anything to do with this new feeling ? Everything! While going through that terrifying time in my life my family was always there to pick me up . Of coarse I had to get on my own two feet but, they were always there . My grandfather has always been there for me . At every step, every big decision . He was there to give me advice and answer the questions that I myself couldn't answer . He taught me how to be a man . He showed me that life isn't so hard. He showed me that you should always have an answer for why . Always be available . 

I love my grandfather very much ! He was always a strong man, mentally and physically. He was as healthy as any human being could possibly be . Here is where I struggle . During my time of self hate I never stopped to think about aging or death. Not even the things that could occur because of or during the again process. I knew everything comes to an end but, for me this was so far away . Now I am 32 and my grandfather 76 . He's not as strong as he used to be and instead of answers he now says I don't know . I'm having such trouble seeing this happen to him . Tonight I went over to talk to him and see how he was feeling . I watched the man that was so strong , look confused . Not sure of where he is , so it seemed . Taking small steps . I don't know where this part of my life is going to bring me . I have never seen nor have had anyone that I am close to and love so much go through this . Know what happens after all this scares me . Yes I am a father , a husband, a son , a grandson, a nephew , a cousin , and a friend . I still don't know how to handle this . 

Casting a Verbal Reflection onto a Mirror it Doesn't stick to!

Confusing title? Yeah , hopefully it will make sense in a min. We all engage in something in life that we look back at and say how did I ever agree to that! Don't get me wrong when I tell you what moment in my life I'm talking about , it taught me a lot and I gain the most precious thing in the world, my daughter. The moment I look back at is marrying or even talking to her mother, my ex wife . 

I think how did I miss the red flags ? Why did I keep the relationship even though the beginning had many downs . Answer, I was not in a place in my life at the time to know what to look for . I was young and just want to be interesting to someone and she found me . People say that there must have been good times. There were few compared to the bad . The one and only absolute good thing was my daughter . The rest was learning from it . Learning about relationships and who I was and who I was to become from it . 

When it was all said and done I learned a lot about myself. I stayed single for a long time . During that time she entertained many men . My only concern was my daughter . Now she's ten and I see many of her mothers character flaws coming out as personality traits. It's tough but I'm learning how to react to it . 

Needless to say her mother hasn't changed . But now her mother makes choices that are not in my daughters best interest and she has no clue why I'm not ok with them. Then suddenly she starts to cast her reflection on me but it won't stick. She tells me that I'm insecure and miserable , childish, and stick in the past! All things that she is but because she can't hear her own conscience she thinks it's me when in this mirror it's her own face she should be seeing. Even after given the warning not to play on the razors edge because the woman behind the curtain will be revealed , she does not stop . Her lies and accusations become her truth which turns into people's ideas of who I am . This mirror reflect back who she's is will reveal her true nature and bring to close the lies . I am not insecure , nor and I miserable ! I am not a story teller but, a presenter of truth!

How do you show someone that the reflection they are casting onto a teflon mirror is their own? 

The Simple This are Sometimes the best set Things

This weekend was like any other weekend except for Sunday. My fiancee had to work all day and my son and I had all day to hangout. Most weekends we do fun things in the house but, it usually the same things as every other. This day was different because I struggle to find something to do that my son would enjoy. So I decided to seek out an inflatable boat. I looked through a lot of websites and found one in stock at Dicks Sporting Goods . Its called the Explorer 300.

Sunday was a beautiful day to go out on the water. A little windy but still a great day. It was simple ,  drive to the water , inflate the boat , put my sons life jacket on and, watch him enjoy the day. Its brings me back to simply times when I was a kid. We didn't search for fun, we made it happen and it was usually always outside enjoying the fresh air . Needless to say my son loved it! 

Expected and Unexpected

We live in a world run by the dollar and supplemented by ignorant , arrogant young adults. Mix in a little sensitivity and the occasional , " I,m going to sue you ", phrase and you have what we now call a civilized society. If you ask me it sucks ! It makes you wonder how the majority of these people make it through life.

The first of these to cases is the millennial. Ah... the oh so annoying and self entitling group of people on the planet! I recently had a flight to go pick up my daughter for the summer. It was the first of four flights I had that day and, sitting next to me was a young girl who appeared to be in her twenties. She was quiet and didn't say much of anything, then again I had no interest in talking much either. The flight attendants started their routine safety demonstration and also informed us that the flight had WiFi. So , I followed the steps to set it up on my phone and noticed others doing the same. The only issue was, it did not connect to the planes WiFi. After several minutes I had come to the conclusion that the WiFi provided by the plane is not on. The girl sitting next to me was having the same trouble so I said, " Mine is not connecting either , maybe they didn't turn the WiFi on". To my surprise to quickly reveal that she was one of those people I do not enjoy being around. She replied with " Well, i'm a millennial , we know everything about technology." With that said the flight was definitely going to be silent.

The second set of people get offended by most things in life, especially if its the truth. Let me share with the opposite side of that. On my second flight I was seated next to a man that was maybe ten years older that I am . He was this and about the same height. No i was not checking him out , this is just a simple observation that is important for the story. Myself on the other hand , i'm a bit larger . yet there was plenty of room and it would be a comfortable flight. Next , comes the part where most people would get offended but, not me . After everyone was seated , one of the flight attendants gently and quietly leaned over and let me know that there were open seats where no one was sitting and , asked if i would like to sit there and be more comfortable. I accepted and move two rows back. The same flight attendant spoke with another gentleman on the flight and he did the same . Seeing that maybe me happy. Just that simple act helped me to know that she does her job well . She like to make sure her passengers are comfortable, and that is great. Obviously she noticed that I, as well as the other man are larger than most and was looking out for our well being. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks that way and , in moments like that most people get offended. They bitch and moan , whine and cry, because they feel that they are being picked on. Whats really happening is an honest attempt to make you happy while running the risk of encountering a douche bag.

For all you sensitive overweight assholes out there , please do us all a favor. Either accept the truth and do something about it or just shut up! To the millennials with the telephone size poles in their ass, please, please, put down your phone and be a real person. Then realize the world does not revolve around you and all that you think you know is not found in technology.

DHSWLAAS Syndrome

Everyone knows about DHSWLAAS Syndrome. Its something that at least one person you know suffers from. Its no less dangerous than drugs and alcohol. It is , Don't Hear Shit While Looking At A Screen Syndrome.

As you can see this is the ear . All these little part allow us to hear a large range of sounds . We have the ability to hear a variety of different sounds. We can alter this in a few ways . Ear plugs, which are put in place to protect the ear . Headphones that are used for entertainment and if used improperly can cause damage. Then there is DHSWLAAS. Now keep in mind that some people were not born with or have had experiences that have caused them to no longer have the ability to hear . This syndrome does not apply to them. 

Here is how this syndrome works. The ear uses vibration to process sound and send it shooting down the auditory tube to your brain to be identified. Ear plugs soften the vibration of loud noise and cancel out the vibration of soft sounds. Headphones provide there own sound that cancels out all noise but, sometimes having them up to loud can do damage. DHSWLAAS is different. It cancels out all sound while still allowing vibration. It does this by placing an invisible barrier in front of the auditory canal.

This effects people that use any device with a screen. Its not all people and in many cases the severity is different . This also occurs more with cellular  phone screens more then other devices.

So if you suffer from this syndrome I suggest you limit your time in front of a screen or see a doctor. This disease effects more than just your plans for the day. It can effect your family , your job, and if it occurs in a motor vehicle , you can seriously injury some one or cause their death . So please pull your head out of your ass and pay attention.