Why Forgive if You Can Never Forget

When I was younger forgiving was easy , even though you didn't forget. I just wanted to have as many friends as possible even if they were not the best friend they could be to me. I was very accepting and knew that no one was perfect, not even me. You look at what you can do, where you can go , and all that is measured in fun, not friendship , or family. You form bonds , some as strong as family some as strong as the alcohol or drug you may consume together. That's just kids stuff though, we are still learning at that point . Being an adult facing the same things , minus the drugs and alcohol of course, the results are a lot different .

As an adult I Require fewer friends. This wasn't an over night achievement, more so a gradual reduction of useless weight on my life's journey . Which means the friends I have remaining and currently have, I consider family . We have our differences, which can sometimes lead to arguments but, like family it can't cause a divide.

The reason for this post is because I had a friend that was family to me and there was a falling out. Someone that she had brought into our lives and the lives of those around us decided to do something that was not acceptable by no means . When confronted, there was denial that slowly turned into a war of words . I simply asked for a time to talk about this and find out where to go from there. Like most people these days she only wanted to do this over the phone and the douche bag in question couldn't even grow a pair and talk to me. I offered several chances to fix things and nothing was done.

The final decision to part was when she decided to try to drive a wedge between me and my fiancee by making accusations. when that didn't work she then changed lanes and try to accuse my fiancee of things . Like the other attempts she was shut down and then decided to put the final nail in the coffin that contained possibilities to fix the situation and also our friendship. she decided to say that I was a shitty dad .

Say what you will about me but, keep my kids out of it. Its been two years and we haven't talked . She has contacted my fiancee a couple of times but made no attempt to talk or see her. Today she decided to text and say that her daughter misses us and wants to try to fix things. This to me is an insincere attempt to make amends. I feel she has burned other bridges and we are her rebound friends.

I have a hard time forgiving if things are taken to far. When you know what words can do the most damage to hurt another you tend not to use them if you care. For me, she used those words and chose someone she barley knew and , had fucked up royally , over the family bond she had formed with us.
I know I will never forget but, worse than that I don't think I can forgive.